黑料社区

January 18, 2024 黑料社区

黑料社区 school is a time for students to push themselves, try new things, and explore. It鈥檚 also a time when students are likely to experience what feels like failure. These small or large challenges along the way to your degree are to be expected, and most faculty members experienced such stumbles themselves in graduate school.

To share stories of successful people who have overcome the setbacks that come with pursuing a graduate degree, we鈥檙e interviewing faculty members about how they 鈥渇ailed鈥� in their academic careers. The Faculty Who Failed series highlights how resilience can carry you through the tough times in your degree program and come out of the experience stronger and better prepared for future challenges.

Read about Professor and University Ombuds ‘s experiences.

Can you describe a time you felt like you failed in graduate school? This could be a time when an experiment didn鈥檛 work out, you considered leaving (or did leave) your program, etc.

It wasn鈥檛 so much 鈥渇ailure鈥� as 鈥渢he grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.鈥� Shortly after starting graduate school, I had an opportunity to earn some freelance money in the industry where I鈥檇 worked before graduate school. I was getting paid (literally) five times as much as my graduate student stipend. I was newly married, and my wife was having trouble finding a job after we鈥檇 moved for my graduate school. We knew that job prospects in my academic field were uncertain (at best!). I wondered: Is this worth the effort?

Initially, the issue was resolved by my wife getting a grossly-overpaid job, so that we were suddenly flush with money (so much so that we bought a house, figuring we鈥檇 be in town for several years until I finished my Ph.D.). But there remained an unease about whether an academic career was really worth it.

A couple of years later, I had a chance to intern in a different branch of my original industry. I discovered I felt a visceral identity with the professionals I was working with. These were 鈥渕y people鈥�! And so again, I questioned whether an academic career was right for me.

How did you bounce back from your perceived failure, or what got you through to the other side?

By then, I was about halfway through my program 鈥� I鈥檇 started research, but hadn鈥檛 fully nailed down a dissertation topic. Because I had the incredible privilege of a supportive partner with a good income, I was able to say: 鈥淚 want to finish the degree, just for personal satisfaction that I took on something hard and completed it.鈥� I had a burning question about my industry that I couldn鈥檛 answer if I was working full-time (that was why I鈥檇 gone to graduate school in the first place), and I wanted to answer that question. But I was pretty sure I would return to my industry after finishing the degree.

Then we had our first child, and in the grand-old-American Way, my wife didn鈥檛 get her job back. Suddenly I was back to, 鈥渋s this worth it?鈥� Once again, I was saved by privilege: My parents were in a financial position to offer support until I finished my degree.

As I was finishing my dissertation, I received two job offers: one here at Cornell, the other in industry. I鈥檇 struggled with which way to go, and my wife and I were acutely aware of the financial limitations of an academic career, even at an elite institution like Cornell. Although many factors went in to our decision, my wife and I decided that if I was going to try academia, a tenure-track job at a name-brand institution was the way to go. If it didn鈥檛 work out, I could always go back to my previous industry.

What lessons did you learn from this experience?

Two lessons:

First, when people ask, 鈥渨hat do you mean by 鈥榩rivilege鈥�?鈥� I have an answer. This is what it looks like: people around me who could afford to use their own financial resources to let me pursue a dream with an uncertain outcome, including an uncertain financial outcome. Most people don鈥檛 have access to those kind of resources. That鈥檚 privilege.

Second, pursue that dream if you can! I had a burning question (in my case: 鈥淲hat is the role of science journalism in the relationship between science and society?鈥�, a question that emerged out of my own professional experience). Knowing I couldn鈥檛 sleep easily if I didn鈥檛 pursue an answer to that question kept me going through the uncertainties of graduate life.

How did you use this experience to become better at what you do?

I strongly believe in having a 鈥減lan B.鈥� Literally until after I had tenure, I continued freelancing. I wanted to be sure that, if academia didn鈥檛 work out, I had another option. I鈥檝e been told that I went through the tenure process with less stress than some people, because I knew that I had other options if academia didn鈥檛 work out.

What advice do you have for current graduate students who might be struggling or in a comparable situation?

For the first lesson: I don鈥檛 have advice about privilege, except to be self-aware if you have it and recognize that other people might not have the options you do.

For the second lesson: Know why you鈥檙e in graduate school. Are you driven by a question you can鈥檛 answer without studying? Go for it. Are you there because you know what 鈥渟chool鈥� is like and you want to stay in it? I鈥檓 not sure that鈥檚 sufficient to get through the doubts. Do you need a Ph.D. as a job ticket for a particular career? Well, maybe. But again I鈥檓 not sure it鈥檚 worth it, especially if that career is in academia with all its uncertainties in the coming decades. Overall, be sure you鈥檙e in graduate school for a positive reason, not because you鈥檙e avoiding something else.